Dearest Mother, The year 2000 is already half over, a year of infinite Grace descending, for you have held up a mirror to my self, allowing me to see more clearly those areas of darkness that keep me from surrendering completely. On the physical level Mary Helen has the cancer to battle in her cells and as always, says very little, complains not at all and trusting to Thee and working within, continues on her path. As my 62nd birthday nears I pray to be cleansed of all desire, for the ego to dissolve in Thee, for the mind to fall still so that it may become a clear pool reflecting Thee, for the physical to begin opening to Thy Force and love, and for the vital nature to be transformed. Grant me Mother the strength to offer up all the obstinate parts of my being to the light. Help steel my will so that I not be swayed and tempted by the lures of the vital and its demands so that I may become Thy child and a pure instrument for Thy work. Understanding the immensity of these requests and acknowledging that all must proceed steadily and solidly as an integral progress, I ask lastly, to help me make the complete commitment to surrender my life to Thee and Sri Aurobindo, to deepen my consecration, my aspiration and love so that all my being may rise to Thee and the Lord, that I may live in joyous silence at Thy Feet.